Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
