Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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