I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
