Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
