going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
