ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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