69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize