I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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