I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.