is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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