I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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