nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
