You're so nebulous sometimes
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
