you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
