Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize