If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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