she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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