it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
