Nicole vs. Life
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
