SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
