Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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