And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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