What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
