his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize