Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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