summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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