before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
