it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
