I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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