i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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