upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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