Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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