Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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