my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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