This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
try to milk me bitch
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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