There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
