STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
