Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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