We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
