oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
