Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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