Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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