it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
