I think I won the penis lottery.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?