Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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  (740): Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night (631): U should. Its a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/6sdf
  Replies (10) Good night (3763) Bad night (814)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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  (630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4638) Bad night (789)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

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  (203): He told me they were just razor bumps! http://tfl.nu/2b3s
  Replies (48) Good night (1777) Bad night (24936)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.

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  (814): Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/e3vv
  Replies (9) Good night (4220) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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  (847): We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate. http://tfl.nu/z0ff
  Replies (10) Good night (8976) Bad night (1133)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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  (267): Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees. http://tfl.nu/ugpg
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (2284)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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  (310): we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck http://tfl.nu/7dck
  Replies (10) Good night (2617) Bad night (738)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.

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  (614): There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss. http://tfl.nu/zse5
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (1311)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.

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  (724): Sat down on an escalator. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/nzjv
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (684)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

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  (423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy
  Replies (9) Good night (1522) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'd say they're off to a great start!

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  (703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt
  Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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  (971): I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast. http://tfl.nu/uskm
  Replies (5) Good night (673) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm too stoned to come over for sex

  (813): View more from Florida

  Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'll be right over

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  (727): I'm too stoned to come over for sex (813): Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock (727): I'll be right over http://tfl.nu/llu2
  Replies (11) Good night (1411) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.

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  (978): Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight. http://tfl.nu/yzh3
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (169)

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