When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...