Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.