Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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(517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo

Replies (41) Good night (845) Bad night (1957)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!

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(832): Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation! http://tfl.nu/fp0i

Replies (13) Good night (4593) Bad night (519)
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(407): View more from Florida

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

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(407): the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day? http://tfl.nu/2o1l

Replies (17) Good night (5622) Bad night (897)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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(413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1

Replies (21) Good night (1100) Bad night (8630)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(413): then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man. http://tfl.nu/6mq0

Replies (39) Good night (1030) Bad night (11220)
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(805): View more from California

I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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(805): I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on. http://tfl.nu/fosj

Replies (8) Good night (4007) Bad night (907)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.

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(617): Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't. http://tfl.nu/avqq

Replies (5) Good night (2603) Bad night (773)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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(740): Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory? http://tfl.nu/3lqg

Replies (18) Good night (4208) Bad night (848)
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(770): View more from Georgia

At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.

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(770): At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it. http://tfl.nu/bg9a

Replies (11) Good night (6149) Bad night (1052)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

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(519): I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training http://tfl.nu/kvls

Replies (12) Good night (3156) Bad night (1788)
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(512): View more from Texas

you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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(512): you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday http://tfl.nu/6yij

Replies (2) Good night (2293) Bad night (586)
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(623): View more from Arizona

By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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(623): By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us. http://tfl.nu/p1x8

Replies (12) Good night (1376) Bad night (573)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?

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(705): Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right? http://tfl.nu/0t3q

Replies (20) Good night (3411) Bad night (821)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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(720): I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned. http://tfl.nu/lcb4

Replies (4) Good night (1219) Bad night (359)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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(605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam

Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (278)

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