Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (571) Bad night (1340)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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  (208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy. http://tfl.nu/3jyj
  Replies (22) Good night (1453) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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  (646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx
  Replies (9) Good night (615) Bad night (2291) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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  (603): got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes" http://tfl.nu/m7wu
  Replies (13) Good night (7534) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?

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  (541): Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone? http://tfl.nu/1eib
  Replies (9) Good night (5034) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

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  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1372) Bad night (5175) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

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  (910): Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut. http://tfl.nu/hcrb
  Replies (21) Good night (6316) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".

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  (617): my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl". http://tfl.nu/voy6
  Replies (12) Good night (5480) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

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  (714): For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out. http://tfl.nu/58i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2494) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?

  (925): View more from California

  Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.

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  (510): This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over? (925): Quite the smooth talker. There in 5. http://tfl.nu/ccg0
  Replies (7) Good night (3018) Bad night (414)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions

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  (912): Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions http://tfl.nu/6v32
  Replies (3) Good night (1412) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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  (408): I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up. http://tfl.nu/jlt9
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the Christmas morning of dicks

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  (612): I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep. (651): It's like the Christmas morning of dicks http://tfl.nu/nghh
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (270)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.

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  (641): I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change. http://tfl.nu/5jew
  Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (349)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.

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  (203): Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker. http://tfl.nu/9u82
  Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt

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