your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence