where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
