Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
