She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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