Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
