chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
