you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
