i think i have two assholes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
