walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
