the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
