I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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