Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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