Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Say something about gay babies.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize