dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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