the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
