Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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