You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So many bounce houses so little time
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
