Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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