1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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