The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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