Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not. http://tfl.nu/eg76
  Replies (54) Good night (3065) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'. http://tfl.nu/1o2s
  Replies (18) Good night (1076) Bad night (2979)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me http://tfl.nu/9k7n
  Replies (57) Good night (5742) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop. http://tfl.nu/x1i9
  Replies (12) Good night (5457) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex. http://tfl.nu/6011
  Replies (10) Good night (2366) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail http://tfl.nu/dt1f
  Replies (5) Good night (3365) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq
  Replies (11) Good night (3523) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/eshu
  Replies (12) Good night (1093) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26
  Replies (4) Good night (643) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1446) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden. http://tfl.nu/eagc
  Replies (2) Good night (824) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition http://tfl.nu/5r22
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house" (703): Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend http://tfl.nu/7dd6
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/763y
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy." http://tfl.nu/exq4
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (351)

Randomize