the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You may now shotgun with the bride
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.