My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.