her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher