I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
