dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
