the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
