operation harelip BJ is a go
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
