Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm jealous of your bromance
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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