She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
