Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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