Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize