you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
