I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
